Welcome to Gretta Krane's Newsletter, "Life is a Choice"

This monthly newsletter is written with the intention of showing there really are nothing but possibilities in our lives. Our lives are filled with choices most of us are not even aware that we have. We get to choose how we feel, what we believe, and what to create in our lives.

This newsletter is all about the creative power that we all hold inside of us...

That moment of awareness. The moment where you recognize a power, a path to change your life. A moment where you decide something is shifting and it's life-changing. This is a defining moment

A moment where can't turns to can, powerless turns to power, hopeless to hope, and no to yes. The moment where you choose to change your life because you see the choice, believe it, and know that you're going to make it a reality…or die trying.

In my case, my defining moment came several, long months after a tragedy threw me in a deep "well." My husband, who suffered from severe depression, took his life, and did so in front of me. I was stuck, paralyzed, hostage to my fears. I spent a fair amount of time in that "well."

After my husband's suicide I had been holed up inside. Doing the least amount I could do in the outside world. And even with my two young sons, I could do it because I had so much support from my family and friends. Facing the outer world was too hard. I felt people's eyes on me (or so I thought) and couldn't bare running into anyone I knew. But at the same time, facing my inner world was equally daunting. I didn't want to look hard at who I was, what dreams I had had that I no longer carried, where my thoughts would lead…they were negative thoughts, hopeless thoughts, thoughts that left me exhausted, sad and powerless.

Until a phone call from a friend gave me such a huge shock that it was almost as if I had been asleep and someone shook me into awakening. And in a way it was an awakening…spiritual for certain, even physically. I remember the night so vividly…a friend calls me to tell me how sorry she is about my situation. I go into my story of how horrible and hard it is trying to get over Michael's death. She quietly listens and then says, "You're right Gretta, that is horrible, so now what are you going to do about it?" I was speechless, thinking to myself, Do about it? You mean I can do something about it? You mean I'm not destined to a life of hell. I have a choice! Oh, my God, I have a choice.

My whole perception shifted because I realized I had a choice about how to live my life. Well I'm not staying down here, lifeless and forsaken. No way! I'm getting out of this well. I don't know how yet, but I'm getting out! I noticed I was even standing taller, straighter. My movement was sure and unwavering.

I was done sitting, done letting life happen to me…I was going to do something now, creating, looking, moving towards a path for sure, but where that path was going to take me I was unsure of. And I didn't care! Anything was better than the hell I was living in.

Just knowing there was a "possibility" propelled me with determination that took me from fearful to fearless. I didn't care that I didn't know definite answers to where I was going or how I was going to get there. I just knew I was going. I said, " to hell with it, I'm done with this."

From that moment and right on up to the present, I have been learning everything I can about me and my old beliefs. I especially had to figure out why I believed I was stuck. I reached out to organizations, to books, and to people that I believed could help me by bringing understanding to my life… the understanding that empowered and motivated me to make pivotal changes in my life.

For some, I know it's hard to move forward but for me it was easy. Why? Because I was ready. It was that belief-that I had a choice, that there were other possibilities for me. That there was information out there I know I didn't know yet, but was willing to find it. And until I believed that… I was paralyzed.

The thing is, there's an inner strength that's always there. We might not always know it's there, might not feel it or even believe we have it, but it's there and waiting to be tapped.

Pay attention to that "still small voice" inside of you or in my case, the ringing of the telephone where it was an actual voice that said, "You have a choice, you can do something." It could be a split second where you hear it or become aware of it, but don't discount it even if it is only a moment. That moment, be it short or long, is a gift. What's that expression we grew up hearing? "Good things come in small packages." Your defining moment could be the tiniest gift box you've ever received which contains the greatest gift you've ever received. Be open to hearing it, seeing it, feeling it because it may come to you in different ways. But it will come to you if you're open to it. Mine did…in the middle of my kitchen one quiet day in May.

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